A memoir of grief & healing

Letters To

TOMMI

Letters to Tommi is a journal of love and grief, written from the heart to a heart no longer here. Through each letter you will come to know Ryan and Tommi, what they shared, and the depth of a love that simply refused to stop.

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Ryan Tate

THE PERSON BEHIND THE LETTERS

A Man Who Chose to
Write Through the Pain

Ryan Tate is a British writer who lost his fiancé, Tommi, to a sudden cardiac arrest in 2025. What began as a therapist’s suggestion became something far more powerful. Ryan discovered that writing could hold what spoken words could not. These letters were never intended to be a book. They became one because grief, when this honest, belongs to more than one person. Ryan writes without performance or pretence, sharing his story so that others walking in the dark might find something in these pages that quietly feels like light.

“I write because I cannot put him down and do not want to.”

— Ryan Tate

The Deeply personal letters

Letters To

TOMMI

Some loves do not end. They change where they live, quiet and faithful, written in grief’s hand.

Themes

Theme one

Grief

Grief here is not a stage or a timeline. It moves in quietly and stays, shapeless, loyal, and deeply present.

"Love that has nowhere left to land."

Theme two

Love

These letters show that a real connection does not end with a body. Ryan and Tommi keep talking across the silence.

"I am still choosing you. Especially now."

Theme three

Memory

Ryan catalogs Tommi’s quirks and laughter, terrified of forgetting. Memory becomes the act of refusing to let someone disappear entirely.

"Frightened I might already be forgetting you."

bLOGS

Still Here

Ryan never stopped loving Tommi. He just had to find somewhere new to put it. These letters are where love went, honest and unguarded, written for anyone who has stayed behind.

Blue Notes

Tommi’s blue notes in Finnish kept appearing in pockets long after he was gone. Each one is quiet proof that when love is real, it always finds a way to linger.

Ordinary Everything

It was never grand moments that broke Ryan. It was the sofa. Tangled legs. A key in the door. This book is about how ordinary life becomes everything you have lost.

An Excerpt from the Manuscript

My Times Square Journey

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